• Hot!

    B-MOVIE BINGO: TRAXX

    TRAXX (1988)
    Showing Tuesday 2/7/17 at The Hollywood Theatre

    There are two things Traxx loves–baking cookies… and killing bad guys.  His dream is to have his own cookie business, but the problem is he’s only good at one of those things (and it’s not the cookies).  This is where the light-hearted cookie-baker-with-a-dream plot turns kind of dark.

    Blonde-maned beefcake Shadoe Stevens is Traxx, an ex-cop, former mercenary who wants to settle down and live the cookie life.  Needing cash to make his cookie dreams a reality, he offers a small, crime-infested town a deal they can’t refuse: hire him to be their “Town Tamer” and he’ll take out their trash… forever (garbage you dump, trash you kill).  His motto is “Be good, be gone, or be dead.”  After teaming up with a rookie and killing about 300 low-lifes, Traxx gets the attention of local crime boss Aldo Palucci (played by Robert Davi, one of the Fratellis who put Chunk’s hand in the blender in The Goonies).  There’s a great scene where he tries one of Traxx’s awful cookies, with explosive results.  He puts out a hit on Traxx, bringing in the Uzi-toting, limo-driving Guzik Brothers, who have been in self-imposed exile in Mexico.  They kidnap the little league baseball team, trying to draw out Traxx, who by this time was living in the woods and wearing a Traxx t-shirt that his partner made for him.  The final showdown ends the only way it could: in an explosion that segues to fireworks and dancing in the streets, under the neon glow of a sign that says “Snaxx by Traxx”.  Directed by Jerome Gary.

    Some Traxx Snaxx

     

  • Hot!

    B-MOVIE BINGO: BODY COUNT

    body_count_WEBBODY COUNT (1995)
    Showing Tuesday 6/4/2013 at The Hollywood Theatre

    There’s at least four movies called BODY COUNT from roughly the same time period as this movie, and of the four, this might be the best. It has it all, including (for the genre) a top-notch cast–Sonny Chiba, Brigitte Nielsen, Jan-Michael Vincent, and Robert Davi. The charmingly unintelligible Chiba plays Makato, a lethal hit man who ends up in prison as the result of a deal-gone-wrong, and Brigitte Nielsen plays his girlfriend who busts him out (in a send-up of a scene from COOL HAND LUKE). Together they set out on a mission of revenge to kill the dirty cop that set him up to “take the fall” or whatever it was that happened.

    Robert Davi plays Eddie Cook, a no-nonsense cop who ends up in Makato’s crosshairs as he slices, shoots and pokes his way through the police force. It’s up to him to stop the slaughter, before he’s the only cop left on earth. Little is his desire to become “Omega Cop”.

    The weird thing about this movie is that the casting is all backwards: Sonny Chiba is the bad guy, and Robert Davi is the good guy!  We’re used to seeing Sonny Chiba playing heros in classic movies like KARATE BULLFIGHTER and IMMORTAL COMBAT, so it’s weird to see him blow away a prison guard, point blank in the face with a shotgun. Robert Davi usually plays some kind of mafioso heavy, like the older Fratelli brother in THE GOONIES or the bad guy in TRAXX. The first thirty minutes of the movie is sort of confusing if you don’t pick up on that. Directed by Talun Hsu.