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    B-MOVIE BINGO: ARMSTRONG

    ARMSTRONG (1998)
    Showing Tuesday 5/5/2015 at The Hollywood Theatre

    The Cold War has just heated up–but don’t worry, because Frank Zagarino‘s on the case! In ARMSTRONG, Zagarino plays Rod Armstrong, a former Navy SEAL living it up in Moscow.

    Things heat up when he is unexpectedly visited by the man who trained him, Bob (Charles Napier, THREE NINJAS) and his wife, Susan (Kimberly Kates, BILL & TED’S EXCELLENT ADVENTURE). Bob is required to give Armstrong a VHS tape (that he keeps in his jacket pocket) which reveals secret missile base locations, and to enlist his help on a top-secret mission.

    Before we go any further, we should talk about Joe Lara‘s character. His name is “Ponytail” and he plays the main bad guy. Ponytail. Also, Kimberly Kates was one of the Princesses from BILL & TED. Ok, back to the synopsis.

    Before Bob can fulfill his mission, “Ponytail” is in on the VHS action, and a freshly-showered Susan gets chased down the street in a wet blouse and miniskirt. It’s a long chase sequence, with many a tuck-n-roll. And regarding camera angles… let’s just say it’s obvious a dirty old man directed this (Menahem Golan). After making a clean getaway, Susan hands off the VHS to Armstrong at Bob’s funeral. It’s up to them to get it into the right hands, to avoid an international arms conflict. Just like Bob would have wanted.

    This movie was released in 1998, but it looks and feels like 1990. That’s the best news about this movie, aside from one of the Princesses from BILL & TED starring. Interestingly, this film was written and directed by Menahem Golan of Golan-Globus, co-owners of Cannon Films in the 1980s. Most excellent! Rated R.

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    Trailer: