• Hot!

    B-MOVIE BINGO: TIMECOP

    TIMECOP (1994)
    Showing Tuesday 9/1/2015 at The Hollywood Theatre

    This has been a year of future-plot movies, and in keeping with that theme, we present to you Jean-Claude Van Damme’s masterpiece TIMECOP.

    Imagine it’s 2004 and time travel has become a reality. JCVD stars as Max Walker, an officer for the Time Enforcement Commission, or TEC. The TEC goes after people who try to use time travel for their own gain—guys like Senator Aaron McComb, who will stop at nothing to be come President. McComb is portrayed with sleazy zeal by the late, great Ron Silver (HEAT VISION AND JACK, DEADLY OUTBREAK). McComb has the TEC in his pocket, and has been in the habit of sending his henchmen back in time to cash in on the past to fund his Presidential campaign.

    One of those henchman is Walker’s partner, and when Walker sticks his nose into McComb’s business, his wife (Mia Sara, FERRIS BUELLER’S DAY OFF) pays the ultimate price. Will Walker violate his own principles to go back in time and save her? Will there be two Ron Silvers and two Jean-Claude Van Dammes multiple times in this movie? Yes, and yes. Directed by Peter Hyams (END OF DAYS, SUDDEN DEATH).

    Trailer

     

  • Hot!

    Jean-Claude Van Damme Doing the Splits

    Here’s some photos of Jean-Claude Van Damme displaying his greatest skill, doing the splits.

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

  • Hot!

    B-MOVIE BINGO: HARD TARGET

    HARD TARGETHARD TARGET (1993)
    Showing Tuesday 4/3/2012 at The Hollywood Theatre

    In HARD TARGET, Jean-Claude Van Damme stars as Chance Boudreaux, an out-of-work sailor with a greasy, disgusting mullet.  How he keeps it that wet we never find out.  It’s definitely not from being “out to sea”.  But what we do find out is this: his first name is Chance because “his mama took a chance.”  Also, Wilford Brimley is his unintelligible moonshine-guzzling Cajun uncle.  The movie starts out with a rough-looking dude being hunted through the streets of New Orleans.  A gravelly-voiced sportsman named Emil Fouchon (Lance Henriksen) has been hiring guys out of the local homeless population as moving targets for wealthy men of refined taste.  It turns out the bum has a daughter, who eventually comes looking for him.  She traces him to the seedier parts of town where she meets Chance Boudreaux, and enlists the sweaty, gross-looking Muscles From Brussels to help her out.  The elegant connoisseur of the hunt Emil quickly finds out he’s met his match in the field, and makes the hunter the hunted, and then he becomes the hunted by the hunted he failed to hunt.  Then he is eaten by a hell beast. 

    Be sure to be on the look out for JCVD chewing the rattler off a rattle snake, and a great action sequence that epitomizes the “Blown Away From Explosion” bingo square.  Another curious thing to watch for are all the exploding bullets.  No matter what gets shot, it explodes… traffic cones, lights on police cars, trees, grass… Wilford Brimley.  Directed by John Woo.

    This is one of our favorite JCVD movies.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1zAyZff2FuQ

     

     

  • Hot!

    Vin Diesel’s vs JCVD’s Facebook Pages

    Lightning vs. Feelings 2012 (click on image)

    Recently we were pleased the discover that some of our favorite action movie stars had facebook pages!  Steven Seagal, Chuck Norris, Van Damme, Vin Diesel, Dolph Lundgren…  And not only that, it seemed they updated them personally (well, except for Seagal, whose page sucks).  So, like the good fanboys we are, we had to LIKE every single one of them.

    The one that caught our eye, though, was Vin Diesel’s.  First of all, he calls it VINBOOK.  Not since trolling around Britney Spears’ myspace page have we seen so many white-vignetted inspirational JPG’s.  Contemplative, Introverted, Positive, Sentimental, Motivational, Vaguely Spiritual… he’s a dreamer with 6th grade level photoshop skills.  He’s got feelings.  At first, we thought it must have been made by a fan, but on his website we found the same cheesy (awesome) graphics.  BUT–you have to be a member to view them.  Moving on…

    At around the same time Vin Diesel posted his “I Believe in You” image today (above), Jean Claude Van Damme posted his “JCVD 2012 LIGHTNING WARRIOR” image, which is about a million times cooler, if it’s possible to calculate those kinds of things.  See how he is standing there, ready to fight? Vin Diesel’s image would be way better if he was holding two Uzi’s or being blown away from an explosion.

    SO, if Vin Diesel and Jean-Claude Van Damme’s facebook pages got in a fight, who would win?  We pick Van Damme, because Lightning beats Feelings.

    Is that really a Vin Diesel quote?