• Hot!

    B-MOVIE BINGO: OMEGA COP

    Omega Cop (1990)OMEGA COP (1990)
    Showing Tuesday 5/7/2013 at The Hollywood Theatre

    The year is 1999.  In a desolate future world devastated by global warming, Ron Marchini is Special Policeman John Travis.  He is Omega Cop, the last (and thus, the toughest) cop alive.  He drives a Jeep, listens to surf music, and lives in a baseball dugout.

    While on a routine mission to bust up a sex slave auction run by Wraith and his nasty gang of Scavs, Travis’ team is wiped out.  The last man standing, he seeks cover and is able to escape during a solar flare.  Solar flares occur without warning, and exposure is known to make people go insane.  To make things worse, the insanity is also somehow contagious.  As a result, his boss, played by a profusely sweating Adam West, refuses to let him back in the police compound, fearing further infection.

    Travis, now with two scantily clad women in tow, decides to make a run for Montana, where the air and water are still clean.  On the run from some Scavs, they hide out for the night in Travis’ space-age bachelor pad–a baseball dugout with a human skeleton in it.  Other major plot points involve Omega Cop beating up some Scavs who stole his baseball cap (“That’s my hat!”), and a brief appearance by Stuart Whitman as the Omega Doctor.  Troy Donahue also has a short scene as the father of one of the women, but gets shot in the heart and dies.

    It’s hard to know what to say about this one–you just have to see it to believe it.  What other movie can you think of that begins with a doomsday warning voiceover from Adam West and then goes straight to faux surf music over the credits?   Directed by Paul Kyriazi, creator of “Live the James Bond Lifestyle” seminar.

  • Hot!

    B-MOVIE BINGO: MAGIC COP

    Hollywood030513MAGIC COP (1990)
    Showing Tuesday 3/5/2013 at The Hollywood Theatre

    MAGIC COP stars cult movie hero Lam Ching Ying as Uncle Feng, a unibrowed super-priest-cop who fights evil using his supernatural detective skills. Now, that should tell you all you need to know about the movie, and that it’s essential viewing for any person alive in the 21st Century. But there’s more. A lot more. The first thing to remember is this is not David Copperfield magic, or even Job Bluth “illusions”. Uncle Feng wields bizarre powers that are as wildly entertaining as they are completely confusing.

    In MAGIC COP, the local police are baffled by a woman who wouldn’t die when they shot her (she only died after being hit by a dump truck and crushed against a parked car). They call in Uncle Feng to investigate, having heard rumors of his supernatural detective techniques. He’s totally next-level, but is teamed up with a rookie because of a beef with the chief (he’s something of a lone wolf). Turns out a mysterious witch is re-animating corpses and using them to smuggle drugs, and it’s up to Uncle Feng to discover her hideout and put an end to her desecration of all that is holy.

    This film is vaguely related to the late 80s Hong Kong “Mr. Vampire” franchise, in which Ying plays a unibrowed super-priest… who fights evil (aka hopping vampire zombies). MAGIC COP is the same basic story in a modern setting (minus the hopping), with Ying transposing this iconic character into a new, but similar character (even down to the crazy eyebrows). Ying actually got typecast in this kind of role, and there are probably other movies where he’s got a unibrow, is a priest, and fights evil.  Directed by Stephen Tung.

     

  • Hot!

    B-MOVIE BINGO: GLADIATOR COP

    Gladiator Cop (1995)Showing Tuesday 10/2/2012 at The Hollywood Theatre

    GLADIATOR COP is the story of Andrew Garrey (played by RENEGADE’s Lorenzo Lamas), an ex-detective (or cop?) trying to help an attractive woman who works for a history museum solve a recent theft case.  Alexander the Great’s powerful magic sword was stolen by a group of underground fighting-ring gamblers in order to win every fight… and get rich as hell.  The legend is that whoever wields the sword cannot lose a battle.  To make things simple, in a roundabout way, Lorenzo discovers that he is Alexander the Great reincarnated.  We later discover that the evil boss, Parmenion (Played by James Hong from “Seinfeld”), happens to be the reincarnated soul of a man who was killed by Alexander the Great in a sword fight that took place 2000 years ago.  Since Parmenion is a frail businessman that must be avenged for his 2000-year-old murder, he does everything in his power return the stolen sword to it’s rightful owner (Lorenzo) in order to recreate the legendary duel between himself and Alexander the Great once again.  To ensure his victory, Parmenion hires a massive screaming Persian beefcake (wielding the biggest scimitar ever) named Mongol to fight in his place in this final re-match 2000 years in the making. Think of it as MORTAL COMBAT meets HIGHLANDER.

    Expect to see lots of beefcake duels, warehouse fights, rolling heads and more male ponytails than you can count.  Oh and yes, someone does say “Gladiator Cop” during the movie…

    Rated R, 92 Minutes, Directed by Nick Rotundo.

    Check out the trailer: