• Hot!

    B-MOVIE BINGO: MAGIC COP

    MAGIC COP (1990)
    Showing Tuesday 6/6/2017 at The Hollywood Theatre

    MAGIC COP stars cult movie hero Lam Ching-Ying as Uncle Feng, a unibrowed super-priest-cop who fights evil using his supernatural detective skills. 

    In MAGIC COP, the local police are baffled by a woman who wouldn’t die when they shot her (she only died after being hit by a dump truck and crushed against a parked car). They call in Uncle Feng to investigate, having heard rumors of his supernatural detective techniques. He’s totally next-level, but is teamed up with a rookie because of a beef with the chief (he’s something of a lone wolf). Turns out a mysterious witch is re-animating corpses and using them to smuggle drugs, and it’s up to Uncle Feng to discover her hideout and put an end to her desecration of all that is holy.

    This film is vaguely related to the late 80s Hong Kong “Mr. Vampire” franchise, in which Ying plays a unibrowed super-priest… who fights evil (aka hopping vampire zombies). MAGIC COP is the same basic story in a modern setting (minus the hopping), with Ying transposing this iconic character into a new, but similar character (even down to the crazy eyebrows). Ying actually got typecast in this kind of role, and there are probably other movies where he’s got a unibrow, is a priest, and fights evil.  Directed by Stephen Tung.

     

  • Hot!

    B-MOVIE BINGO: MARTIAL LAW

    MARTIAL LAW (1990)
    Showing Tuesday 8/4/2015 at The Hollywood Theatre

    Keeping in line with our tradition of bringing you movies starring relatives, friends and employees of big movie stars, we present MARTIAL LAW. It stars Chad McQueen (DEATH RING, NEW YORK COP), whose father was screen legend and racing enthusiast Steve McQueen. The younger McQueen was in the first two KARATE KID movies, and was trained by Chuck Norris. His pedigree is unimpeachable.

    Also starring is Cynthia Rothrock (CHINA O’BRIEN, UNDEFEATABLE), one of our all-time favorite martial arts ladies. McQueen and Rothrock are teamed up as cops Sean Thompson and Billie Blake, who together fight back the rising tide of crime in Los Angeles. They’re also lovers and martial arts champions. When Thompson’s estranged younger brother shows up and starts getting mixed up with the wrong crowd, it’s up to him to bail him out. Enter Dalton Rhodes, played by a scenery-chewing David Carradine (FUTURE FORCE, FUTURE ZONE), who takes him under his wing as a henchman in training. Rhodes is not only the biggest crime boss in Los Angeles, but also a Martial Arts Grand Master. You know where this is going… not even big brother can save him now!

    Directed by Steve Cohen (TOUGH AND DEADLY, LAW & ORDER).

    Cool fight scene:

     

  • Hot!

    B-MOVIE BINGO: DEADLY TARGET

    DEADLY TARGET (1994)
    Showing Tuesday 12/2/2014 at The Hollywood Theatre

    In DEADLY TARGET, Gary Daniels (DEADLY BET, TEKKEN) stars as Charlie Prince, a Hong Kong super-cop brought to Los Angeles to capture a Chinese drug lord named Chang (played with zest by Byron Mann). Sounds easy, right? Wrong! Not wanting to face justice in his home country, Chang escapes Prince’s grasp, and Prince is thrown off the case.

    This is where it gets silly. After being rendered unconscious, Prince is rescued by a beautiful Asian woman named Susan–the only female in the entire movie. He wakes up shirtless in her home as she bathes in the next room. With her help, he gets back on the case and gets his man.

    This film augments its plot with endless montages of mindless, generic shooting, car chases, and fight scenes. There’s also a few golden moments of abrupt, bizarre violence–let’s just say Charlie Prince knows how to make people eat shit. Directed by Charla Driver (in her only directing credit).

    Trailer:

     

  • Hot!

    B-MOVIE BINGO: COLLISION COURSE

    collisioncourse_WEBCOLLISION COURSE (1989)
    Showing Tuesday 4/1/2014 at The Hollywood Theatre

    At one time, Jay Leno was a successful stand-up comic who occasionally appeared in movies. In the late 80s, with his star on the rise, Leno made his one and only film appearance in a leading role in COLLISION COURSE–a movie that technically was never finished, but was put out on video anyway.

    Leno plays Detroit cop Tony Costas, who lives in a hellhole and does whatever he wants. It’s clear from the onset that he quit following the rules long ago. When a Japanese business man is killed over a top-secret car part, Inspector Fuji, played by Pat Morita (Mr. Miyagi), comes to town, and is teamed up with Leno to solve the case. Let’s just say at this point the racial jokes really start flying. Leno also asks every woman he encounters for her “home number”. But hey! It was the 80s, what do you expect? Leno truly is the “king of the zing”. Directed by Lewis Teague.

    New squares alert: LATTICE, CAR CRUSHER, STAKEOUT

    Remember when Jay Leno did Doritos commercials?

  • Hot!

    B-MOVIE BINGO: COBRA

    COBRA_webCOBRA (1986)
    Showing Tuesday 2/4/2014 at The Hollywood Theatre

    If crime is a disease, then officer Marion “Cobra” Cobretti is the cure. Thus it goes to follow that if lame movies are also a disease, then the cure is still COBRA. In COBRA we have an example of what could be close to a perfect bingo movie experience: a “bingo movie” being a movie that has tons of bingo squares and is fun to watch, and is 90 min or less. There are some other things that figure into this, but that’s it in a nutshell.

    COBRA stars Sylvester Stallone as Cobra, a rouge cop on LAPD’s off-the-books “Zombie Squad”. The “Zombie Squad” is a group of cops that come out of the woodwork to mop up messes that the usual legal channels can’t seem to figure out. You’d think we’d meet other members of the Zombie Squad in this movie, but we don’t. All we get is his partner Gonzales, whose main contribution to the story is that he likes candy bars. That’s pretty much all he talks about, aside from Gummy Bears.

    The story goes like this: an axe-wielding cult called “The Order”, which meets in an abandoned swimming pool, starts killing the populace at random. Heralding a violent “new world order” and declaring that “only the strong will survive”, it’s soon apparent that only Cobra can take care of these psychos. A beautiful model named Ingrid, played by Brigitte Nielsen (introduced by a bizarre photo shoot featuring robots), witnesses a roadside murder, and is targeted by the group. Cobra decides to take Ingrid to a safehouse out in the country, where after a late-night discussion (while he “assembles his weapon”) on how important it is to kill bad guys, they develop a romantic interest in each other. The next day all hell breaks loose as The Order descends upon them for the final showdown. Rated “C” for COBRA. Directed by George P. Cosmatos.