• Hot!

    B-MOVIE BINGO: XXX

    XXX (2002)
    Showing Tuesday 12/4/2012 at The Hollywood Theatre

    In XXX, Vin Diesel takes us on a one-way trip to the “Xander Zone“, a place as likely to be found on a Corvette falling from a bridge as it is hidden in a secret Czech mountain base.  Diesel plays Xander Cage, an all around extreme sports guy and virtuoso cyber-criminal.  After an NSA agent, played by Samuel L Jackson, catches up with him, he’s given an ultimatum: join us or go to prison.  Yes, he’s that good: if Uncle Sam can’t have ’em, no one can.  Now a reluctant secret agent (an “even-his-shit-is-ripped”, tatted-up version of Bond), he is sent to Prague to stop an evil Cold War-obsessed madman from destroying the world.  While executing well-known world-saving techniques like water skiing on a rocket and snowboarding away from an avalanche he caused, he meets the love of his life, Dario Argento’s daughter, Asia.  XXX uses sports to save the world, and wins her heart in what we all know will wind up the elusive “Tropical Ending”.

    There’s so many awesome scenes in this movie.  Some favorites: 1) Vin Diesel jumping a dirt bike over a barn of exploding cocaine. 2) Xander, while perched high on a mountainside, spies bad guys on snowmobiles and causes an avalanche to take them out, as he rides the wave down on his snowboard (already mentioned, but worth re-telling).  3) All the scenes with Vin Diesel.  Directed by Rob Cohen.

    PRIZES!

    We have some great prizes this month: a hunky Vin Diesel poster, a bunch of glossy promo 8×10’s, and the Grand Prize: a replica Seinfeld script.

  • Hot!

    B-MOVIE BINGO: SFX RETALIATOR

    Showing Tuesday 11/6/2012 at The Hollywood Theatre

    ***Election Night “Future Congressman” Chris Mitchum Showcase***
    Note: We recently found out that Mitchum recently ran for US Congress.  Even though he didn’t win, let’s celebrate by watching one his finest films!

    What happens when you double cross two crime bosses at the same time?  Special effects retaliation, of course!  In SFX Retaliator, Chris Mitchum (the blonde-haired son of legend Robert Mitchum) is Steve Baker, a movie special effects coordinator who drives a blue truck that has “Steve Baker FX” painted on the side.  He’s the only character in the movie who has a name, and it’s easy to remember because it’s on the side of his truck.  He becomes entangled with Linda Blair, who has just stolen a million dollars from a mob boss, when he accidentally runs her over with his truck as she flees from henchmen with machine guns.  Seeing a damsel in distress, he gives her a ride back to town.  When the mob boss, played by Gordon Mitchell, gets wind of this, he kidnaps Mitchum’s wife as revenge, and… well, it doesn’t really matter.  The main thing to keep in mind is that by the end of the movie, Mitchum has built a tank out of plywood.

    We’ve got some awesome movie prizes lined up, and we’re debuting two new squares inspired by SFX Retaliator: “KILL YOUR OWN MEN” and “SHOOT AT OR FROM MOVING VEHICLE”.  Things to look for: a bullet-spraying cobra and a “haunted house” home alarm system, and Chris Mitchum’s lone facial expression: boredom.

  • Hot!

    B-MOVIE BINGO: GLADIATOR COP

    Gladiator Cop (1995)Showing Tuesday 10/2/2012 at The Hollywood Theatre

    GLADIATOR COP is the story of Andrew Garrey (played by RENEGADE’s Lorenzo Lamas), an ex-detective (or cop?) trying to help an attractive woman who works for a history museum solve a recent theft case.  Alexander the Great’s powerful magic sword was stolen by a group of underground fighting-ring gamblers in order to win every fight… and get rich as hell.  The legend is that whoever wields the sword cannot lose a battle.  To make things simple, in a roundabout way, Lorenzo discovers that he is Alexander the Great reincarnated.  We later discover that the evil boss, Parmenion (Played by James Hong from “Seinfeld”), happens to be the reincarnated soul of a man who was killed by Alexander the Great in a sword fight that took place 2000 years ago.  Since Parmenion is a frail businessman that must be avenged for his 2000-year-old murder, he does everything in his power return the stolen sword to it’s rightful owner (Lorenzo) in order to recreate the legendary duel between himself and Alexander the Great once again.  To ensure his victory, Parmenion hires a massive screaming Persian beefcake (wielding the biggest scimitar ever) named Mongol to fight in his place in this final re-match 2000 years in the making. Think of it as MORTAL COMBAT meets HIGHLANDER.

    Expect to see lots of beefcake duels, warehouse fights, rolling heads and more male ponytails than you can count.  Oh and yes, someone does say “Gladiator Cop” during the movie…

    Rated R, 92 Minutes, Directed by Nick Rotundo.

    Check out the trailer:

  • Hot!

    B-MOVIE BINGO: SHOWDOWN IN LITTLE TOKYO

    SHOWDOWN IN LITTLE TOKYO (1991)
    Showing Tuesday 9/4/2012 at The Hollywood Theatre

    In this film Dolph Lundgren plays Sgt. Chris Kenner, a white man born and raised in Japan, steeped in its traditions and culture, and an expert in its martial arts techniques.  Brandon Lee, who plays wise-cracking cop Johnny Murata, is the opposite: he’s a man of Japanese heritage born and raised in sunny Los Angeles, a “valley dude” who loves malls and pizza and knows nothing of his own culture.  In spite of this, he too is an expert fighter, having trained from age four.

    When they meet in a diner shootout in Little Tokyo, Yin meets Yang, and they realize they are destined to be beefcake buddy cops together.  It’s perfect because they both have had issues retaining partners.  They combine powers to take on the untouchable Iron Claw gang, leaders of the Yakuza underworld that is permeating the underbelly of Los Angeles.  A new drug, “Ice“, which is stronger than “Rock”, “Nuke”, “HDS”, “White Buffalo” or any other fake movie drug, is hitting the streets and Iron Claw is suspected of its distribution.  When Kenner and Murata infiltrate an Iron Claw-controlled night club, things get personal when Kenner flashes back to his childhood, and realizes the Yakuza boss he is fighting is actually the man he witnessed murder his parents when he was a child.  Time for some revenge!  On top of this, Kenner falls for the woman singing in the night club (Tia Carrere in a career-defining performance), which of course, leads to things getting even more personal than before.  The gang members dress to the nines in flashy suits and drive big American sedans from the late 50s.  Brandon Lee’s one-liners and wise cracks know no bounds (as we will find out).  COMMANDO director Mark L. Lester took the helm on this one, and it’s a boiled-down 78 minutes of wall to wall action.

    This movie has one of the best endings to a mano-y-mano hero/boss fight we’ve ever scene.   Keep your eyes peeled for Gerald Okamura (SAMURAI COP and NINJA ACADEMY) enjoying a torture scene as “The Master of Pain”.  We’d like to thank Phil Tepper, who tipped us off to this movie.  Keep the suggestions coming!

    Check out the trailer:

  • Hot!

    B-MOVIE BINGO: LADY DRAGON

    Lady DragonLADY DRAGON (1992)
    Showing Tuesday 8/7/2012 at The Hollywood Theatre

    Cynthia Rothrock plays Kathy Galagher, an ass-beating lady who lives in a rat infested hellhole in Indonesia and fights sweaty dudes for  money. However, she is also a retired CIA agent supposedly (which is very easy to miss) who’s husband gets murdered in a flashback.  Now the only thing driving her is to get sweet revenge on Ludvig Hauptman, a beefcake arms dealer and rich-as-hell crime lord (played by Aussie superstar Richard Norton) who also happens to be pure evil and an expert martial artist.  After a failed attempt at killing Ludvig in his own bar called the “Super Star”, Kathy is held hostage, beaten and left for dead, only to be rescued by a mute seemingly homeless Karate master and his tiny interpreter grandson.  The pair nurse Kathy back to health using a massive wooden (Ewok Village?) structure that Kathy must train on daily and eat really filling white stuff and gross tea in order to become a Lady Dragon.  Once Lady Dragon status is achieved (which means nothing except for the mute Grandfather making strong eye contact and doing a rigid cobra-looking hand gesture with his fore arm),  Kathy begins working for Ludvig’s company some how with out being recognized, gets double crossed by former CIA agent friend “Gibson” (Robert Ginty) and has a mano y mano in a warehouse with Ludvig until they are both really beat up.  Directed by David Worth.

    Check out the trailer: