• Hot!

    B-MOVIE BINGO: GLADIATOR COP

    Gladiator Cop (1995)Showing Tuesday 10/2/2012 at The Hollywood Theatre

    GLADIATOR COP is the story of Andrew Garrey (played by RENEGADE’s Lorenzo Lamas), an ex-detective (or cop?) trying to help an attractive woman who works for a history museum solve a recent theft case.  Alexander the Great’s powerful magic sword was stolen by a group of underground fighting-ring gamblers in order to win every fight… and get rich as hell.  The legend is that whoever wields the sword cannot lose a battle.  To make things simple, in a roundabout way, Lorenzo discovers that he is Alexander the Great reincarnated.  We later discover that the evil boss, Parmenion (Played by James Hong from “Seinfeld”), happens to be the reincarnated soul of a man who was killed by Alexander the Great in a sword fight that took place 2000 years ago.  Since Parmenion is a frail businessman that must be avenged for his 2000-year-old murder, he does everything in his power return the stolen sword to it’s rightful owner (Lorenzo) in order to recreate the legendary duel between himself and Alexander the Great once again.  To ensure his victory, Parmenion hires a massive screaming Persian beefcake (wielding the biggest scimitar ever) named Mongol to fight in his place in this final re-match 2000 years in the making. Think of it as MORTAL COMBAT meets HIGHLANDER.

    Expect to see lots of beefcake duels, warehouse fights, rolling heads and more male ponytails than you can count.  Oh and yes, someone does say “Gladiator Cop” during the movie…

    Rated R, 92 Minutes, Directed by Nick Rotundo.

    Check out the trailer:

  • Hot!

    B-MOVIE BINGO: SHOWDOWN IN LITTLE TOKYO

    SHOWDOWN IN LITTLE TOKYO (1991)
    Showing Tuesday 9/4/2012 at The Hollywood Theatre

    In this film Dolph Lundgren plays Sgt. Chris Kenner, a white man born and raised in Japan, steeped in its traditions and culture, and an expert in its martial arts techniques.  Brandon Lee, who plays wise-cracking cop Johnny Murata, is the opposite: he’s a man of Japanese heritage born and raised in sunny Los Angeles, a “valley dude” who loves malls and pizza and knows nothing of his own culture.  In spite of this, he too is an expert fighter, having trained from age four.

    When they meet in a diner shootout in Little Tokyo, Yin meets Yang, and they realize they are destined to be beefcake buddy cops together.  It’s perfect because they both have had issues retaining partners.  They combine powers to take on the untouchable Iron Claw gang, leaders of the Yakuza underworld that is permeating the underbelly of Los Angeles.  A new drug, “Ice“, which is stronger than “Rock”, “Nuke”, “HDS”, “White Buffalo” or any other fake movie drug, is hitting the streets and Iron Claw is suspected of its distribution.  When Kenner and Murata infiltrate an Iron Claw-controlled night club, things get personal when Kenner flashes back to his childhood, and realizes the Yakuza boss he is fighting is actually the man he witnessed murder his parents when he was a child.  Time for some revenge!  On top of this, Kenner falls for the woman singing in the night club (Tia Carrere in a career-defining performance), which of course, leads to things getting even more personal than before.  The gang members dress to the nines in flashy suits and drive big American sedans from the late 50s.  Brandon Lee’s one-liners and wise cracks know no bounds (as we will find out).  COMMANDO director Mark L. Lester took the helm on this one, and it’s a boiled-down 78 minutes of wall to wall action.

    This movie has one of the best endings to a mano-y-mano hero/boss fight we’ve ever scene.   Keep your eyes peeled for Gerald Okamura (SAMURAI COP and NINJA ACADEMY) enjoying a torture scene as “The Master of Pain”.  We’d like to thank Phil Tepper, who tipped us off to this movie.  Keep the suggestions coming!

    Check out the trailer:

  • Hot!

    B-MOVIE BINGO: LADY DRAGON

    Lady DragonLADY DRAGON (1992)
    Showing Tuesday 8/7/2012 at The Hollywood Theatre

    Cynthia Rothrock plays Kathy Galagher, an ass-beating lady who lives in a rat infested hellhole in Indonesia and fights sweaty dudes for  money. However, she is also a retired CIA agent supposedly (which is very easy to miss) who’s husband gets murdered in a flashback.  Now the only thing driving her is to get sweet revenge on Ludvig Hauptman, a beefcake arms dealer and rich-as-hell crime lord (played by Aussie superstar Richard Norton) who also happens to be pure evil and an expert martial artist.  After a failed attempt at killing Ludvig in his own bar called the “Super Star”, Kathy is held hostage, beaten and left for dead, only to be rescued by a mute seemingly homeless Karate master and his tiny interpreter grandson.  The pair nurse Kathy back to health using a massive wooden (Ewok Village?) structure that Kathy must train on daily and eat really filling white stuff and gross tea in order to become a Lady Dragon.  Once Lady Dragon status is achieved (which means nothing except for the mute Grandfather making strong eye contact and doing a rigid cobra-looking hand gesture with his fore arm),  Kathy begins working for Ludvig’s company some how with out being recognized, gets double crossed by former CIA agent friend “Gibson” (Robert Ginty) and has a mano y mano in a warehouse with Ludvig until they are both really beat up.  Directed by David Worth.

    Check out the trailer:

  • Hot!

    B-MOVIE BINGO: STONE COLD

    STONE COLD (1991)
    Showing Tuesday 7/3/2012 at The Hollywood Theatre

    In celebration B-Movie Bingo’s 1-Year Anniversary, we present STONE COLD, the most Bingo-worthy movie we’ve found so far, with an incredible 50 bingo squares!

    STONE COLD stars Brian “The Boz” Bosworth, an often-injured former NFL player who transitioned into acting in the early 90s, and who later transitioned into real estate brokerage.  In his first movie role “The Boz” plays Joe Huff, an often-suspended cop (he begins the film suspended from the force, feeding his huge pet monitor lizard) who finds himself blackmailed into going undercover to infiltrate a biker gang suspected of killing priests and dealing drugs.  The gang, known as The Brotherhood, is run by the merciless “Chains” (played by a scenery-chewing Lance Henriksen) who can’t help but be curious about this lone blond beefcake who seemingly materialized out of nowhere to get the chance to “do some crimes“.  Once inside the biker gang, we get lots of fun scenes of bikers beating the hell out of each other.  The best feature the psychotic “Ice” (an insane, constantly silhouetted by explosions William Forsythe), namely one in which he and another biker attempt to shoot beer cans off each other’s shoulders.  Ice breaks out a machine gun… and everyone loved it.  This is a no-nonsense, fun and violent movie.  As “The Boz” would say, “Be yourself or be dead.”  Directed by Craig R. Baxley.

     

    Ice

    A visual summary of STONE COLD

  • Hot!

    B-MOVIE BINGO: HARD TO KILL

    HARD TO KILL (1990)
    Showing Tuesday 6/5/2012 at The Hollywood Theatre

    You can take THIS to the bank!  In HARD TO KILL Steven Seagal is Mason Storm (best movie hero name ever), an L.A. detective who spends the first twenty minutes of the movie in a seven year coma.  (RIP Mason Storm’s coma, 1983-1990).  When he wakes up from the coma, he has a huge goatee, which is a sure sign your nurse has the hots for you.  Within seconds of becoming aware of his surroundings, he flashes back to the atrocities that befell his family at the hands of a dirty politician… while a hit man roams the halls hunting him down as he wheels around on his gurney.  After a narrow escape, his nurse takes him to an Eastern-tinged country estate where he recuperates, enduring various training montages and meditation zones.  Once he regains his strength and hones his lone wolf attitude, total violence ensues as he exacts revenge on those who wronged him.  Then he goes on a vacation.  Directed by Bruce Malmuth.