• Hot!

    B-MOVIE BINGO: NIGHTBEAST

    NightbeastNIGHTBEAST (1982)
    Showing Tuesday 11/01/2011 at The Hollywood Theatre

    Somewhere in the heavens, an out-of-control spaceship careens toward Earth, plunking an asteroid on the way down. It ricochets toward Maryland and crash lands somewhere in the woods. A wet-looking abomination in a shiny silver suit emerges, fully-automatic laser gun in hand. A handful of hicks with guns confront the being and are immediately vaporized. This scene sets up Nightbeast, in which a backwoods cop and his friends fight an alien that terrorizes their small town. Super lo-fi, but in a star-filtered early 80s kind of way. Awesome synth music, a romantic love scene, and tons of lasers and gore. Also vaporizing and mauling. And gore. Directed by Don Dohler.

    Trivia: The musical score on this movie was done by 16-year-old J.J. Abrams, who later went on to create the TV show LOST and direct the excellent film SUPER 8.

  • Hot!

    B-MOVIE BINGO: AMERICAN HUNTER

    American HunterAMERICAN HUNTER (1988)
    Showing on Tuesday 10/11/2011 at The Hollywood Theatre

    In American Hunter, Chris Mitchum stars as Jake Carver, an Interpol agent and martial arts expert. While on a mission to recover microfilm that holds information that can destroy Wall Street, he meets an adversary’s secretary and falls in love with her. She is subsequently kidnapped at least four times. His nemesis, Adam (non-contact karate star Bill “Superfoot” Wallace), has a pet falcon and monkey and can often be seen in a sweat suit. This movie is action-packed with plenty of car chases, kidnappings, denim, and Chris Mitchum on a motorcycle. The most boring part is a ten minute helicopter chase that ends in total anti-climax. Directed by Arizal.

  • Hot!

    B-MOVIE BINGO: IMMORTAL COMBAT

    IMMORTAL COMBAT (1994)
    Showing Sept 6 at The Hollywood Theatre

    Rowdy Roddy Piper and Sonny Chiba star as Mayan priests reincarnated as L.A. buddy cops on a mission to take out an immortal beefcake sweatpants army. Chiba, in one of his few English-speaking roles (he doesn’t really speak English very well), spends most of the movie in a psychedelic samurai freakout at his house, and then becomes a ninja assassin near the end of the movie. He uses his karate as a weapon. Portland’s own Roddy Rowdy Piper, a cop on vacation in the Bahamas, who occasionally sports a fake southern accent, befriends a journalist who gets kidnapped while investigating an evil corporation that is producing immortal, invincible warriors for international export. The heros eventually face off against American Gladiator star Malibu, who plays an immortal serial killer called the “Signature Killer”, and a couple of ninja extras that wandered onto the set from another movie. Directed by Dan Neira.

    Sonny Chiba is the best!

     

  • Hot!

    B-MOVIE BINGO: THE STABILIZER

    The StabilizerTHE STABILIZER (1984)
    Showing August 8 at The Hollywood Theatre

    In The Stabilizer, Peter Goldson is literally “The Stabilizer”, a tough American agent sent around the world to stabilize unstable situations. He is sent to Jakarta, where a famous scientist who developed a Narcotics Detector has been kidnapped. Up against him is a drug smuggling ring run by his arch-enemy Greg Rainmaker, an evil drug lord who once killed Goldson’s fiancee with his spiked shoes. In a flashback the filmmakers tastefully show this, and while it’s happening you see a framed photo of Goldson on the wall, in a black net shirt posing with a gun. He looks like a cross between Sylvester Stallone and Brian May. Be on the lookout for actual consumption of live reptiles, and weird editing decisions during the climax of the film. Directed by Arizal.

    This movie has an awesome soundtrack.

  • Hot!

    B-MOVIE BINGO: SAMURAI COP

    Samurai CopSAMURAI COP (1989)
    Showing July 11th at The Hollywood Theatre

    The Japanese Katana Gang have a death grip on the city of Los Angeles, and who better to deal with the problem than Joe Marshall, the “Samurai Cop”. Matt Hannon, who was once Sylvester Stallone’s personal bodyguard, stars in the title role. This is a man that looks like a Dorito. For half of the movie, he wears a woman’s wig with a baseball hat because he got a haircut during production. And regarding his police work: let’s just say… he can “read eyes”. Robert Z’dar co-stars as the evil samurai henchman bent on taking out Marshall. His beard obscures his enormous jaw. Be ready for burning humans, severed limbs, gun and sword fights, and lots of long awkward love scenes. Join Joe “The Samurai” Marshall and his sidekick Frank as they take on the minions of the crime underworld. Written and directed by Amir Shervan.

    Here’s a clip of Fujiyama’s speech, berating and challenging his henchmen.