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    Chucknology – Chuck Norris Kills Per Movie Graph

    Chucknology: Kills Per Movie
    In the Spring of 2006 we made our CHUCKNOLOGY: KILL COUNTS PER MOVIE graph and presented to a small gathering of friends at one of our first Bingo Nights.  We happened to watch CODE OF SILENCE (1985) that night, actually one of Chuck’s better movies.

    INTERPRETING THE GRAPH

    The chart follows Chuck Norris’ career from 1969-2005.  We broke the graph down by decade, facial hair status, and weapon of choice.  We analyzed kills with different styles of facial hair, kills by decade, kills per movie, and minutes between kills (by decade).

    INTERESTING INFORMATION ONE CAN GLEAN FROM THIS IMAGE

    1) As Norris’ facial hair thickened, so did the diameter of the barrel of his weapon of choice.  Naturally, as his weapon’s barrel increased, so did his kill count.  “As above, so below.”

    2) The 1970s saw him mostly with a mustache with his leg as his weapon of choice.  The 1980s got gratuitous, however.  This is when we saw him begin to wield automatic weapons.  I guess life really does begin at 40.

    3) After Norris hit 50 in 1990, he started with a bang with 29 kills in 1991’s THE HITMAN.  Then he began to mellow as he eased into network television popularity with eight season of Walker: Texas Ranger and a few quasi-spiritual direct-to-video movies.

    Source of graph data: http://www.scms.ca/norr.html

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    B-MOVIE BINGO: ANGEL OF FURY

    B-Movie Bingo: Angel of FuryANGEL OF FURY (1992)
    Showing Tuesday 2/7/2012 at The Hollywood Theatre

    Hell has no fury… like a security firm courier scorned!   International martial arts star Cynthia Rothrock is Nancy Bolan, whose sole mission is to deliver a top-secret computer for a large security organization.  Housed within a silver briefcase, the computer’s purpose is unknown.  Enter “Bolt” (aka “Zartan”), who is referred to as “The Terrorist Who Strikes Like Lightning“.  He also happens to be a master of disguise and a beefcake.  It turns out that he wants the computer too, and is hot on Nancy’s trail, intercepting her multiple ingenious, and yet failure-prone delivery attempts.  The venerable Peter O’Brian, best known for his career-defining roles as The Stabilizer and Rambu, chews up the scenery as Bolt, in his sixth and final film role before returning to his previous life as an English teacher.

    Rothrock is in top form as a tough, “I’m gonna kill you”, no-nonsense agent.  Things to watch out for include: a post-computer delivery failure shopping spree, Rothrock’s insane, indescribable kick from a dirt bike through a van’s windshield (and then back again), bizarre editing and dialogue, guys who don’t know how to hold guns, and Peter O’Brian’s face.  This movie is PURE BINGO!!!!

    One thing that we like about this movie is that the screenplay was written by Chris Mitchum, son of Robert Mitchum!

     

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    Harry Potter and the Hendersons

    Harry Potter and the HendersonsWhen I made this, I was so proud.  “Harry Potter and the Hendersons”, I thought to myself as I put the finishing touches on the DVD spine, “how very clever.”

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    Initials W.C.

    Wolf ChoirZeus & Roxanne: recommended viewing.

    Love,
    W.C.

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    B-MOVIE BINGO: BULLETPROOF

    BulletproofBULLETPROOF (1988)
    Shows Tuesday 1/10/2012 at The Hollywood Theatre

    Imagine this: It’s the mid 1980s.  Cold War paranoia is at its breaking point; secrets wait to be discovered under every rock.  While the western world sleeps in its cocoon of false security, the scales tip to the Dark Side when a secret super-tank, the NBT-90 Thunderblast, is stolen from the US military and taken to …Mexico.  There a grab-bag of assorted Soviet-inspired international terrorists await its arrival and their virtually unstoppable ascent to world domination.  But wait: Enter Frank “BULLETPROOF” McBain!

    Gary Busey stars as Frank “I’M YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE, BUTTHORN!” McBain, an ex-military virtuoso who has “retired” into police work.  His main skill is getting shot and removing the bullets, keeping them in a jar in his bathroom.  The rest of skills can be added up into one large, more complex, intangible web of skills, called a Hive Skill.  This Hive Skill is his use of the word BUTTHORN as an insult, which happens at least three times in the film.  Note: this is the only movie that has the word BUTTHORN in it.  When Uncle Sam calls McBain back for one last mission, he teams up with his ex-girlfriend, Army officer Devon Shepard, to get the tank back from the evil tantrum-thrower Colonel Kartiff (Henry Silva!!) and …play saxophone on the beach!   Because it’s true that while McBain may be bulletproof, he’s not love proof.  Directed by Steve Carver.