• Hot!

    B-MOVIE BINGO: MAGIC COP

    MAGIC COP (1990)
    Showing Tuesday 6/6/2017 at The Hollywood Theatre

    MAGIC COP stars cult movie hero Lam Ching-Ying as Uncle Feng, a unibrowed super-priest-cop who fights evil using his supernatural detective skills. 

    In MAGIC COP, the local police are baffled by a woman who wouldn’t die when they shot her (she only died after being hit by a dump truck and crushed against a parked car). They call in Uncle Feng to investigate, having heard rumors of his supernatural detective techniques. He’s totally next-level, but is teamed up with a rookie because of a beef with the chief (he’s something of a lone wolf). Turns out a mysterious witch is re-animating corpses and using them to smuggle drugs, and it’s up to Uncle Feng to discover her hideout and put an end to her desecration of all that is holy.

    This film is vaguely related to the late 80s Hong Kong “Mr. Vampire” franchise, in which Ying plays a unibrowed super-priest… who fights evil (aka hopping vampire zombies). MAGIC COP is the same basic story in a modern setting (minus the hopping), with Ying transposing this iconic character into a new, but similar character (even down to the crazy eyebrows). Ying actually got typecast in this kind of role, and there are probably other movies where he’s got a unibrow, is a priest, and fights evil.  Directed by Stephen Tung.

     

  • Hot!

    B-MOVIE BINGO: ESCAPE FROM L.A.

    ESCAPE FROM L.A. (1996)
    Showing Tuesday 5/2/2017 at The Hollywood Theatre

    The man with the patch is back. Call him Snake. Kurt Russell rejoins filmmakers John Carpenter and Debra Hill to do to the Big Orange what they did to the Big Apple in ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK — with even more futuristic thrills and slam-bang action!
     
    Into the 9.6-quaked Los Angeles of 2013 comes Snake Plissken (Russell). His job: wade through L.A.’s ruined landmarks to retrieve a doomsday device. Don’t miss the excitement as Snake surfs Wilshire Blvd., shoots hoops at the Coliseum, dive bombs the Happy Kingdom theme park, and mixes it up with a wild assortment of friends, fiends and foes (Stacy Keach, Steve Buscemi, Peter Fonda, George Corraface, Cliff Robertson, Pam Grier and more). 
     
    Directed by John Carpenter (THEY LIVE, BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA)
     

     

  • Hot!

    B-MOVIE BINGO: TOP DOG

    TOP DOG (1995)
    Showing Tuesday 4/4/2017 at The Hollywood Theatre

    After zany police dog Reno’s partner gets killed doing surveillance at the docks, he is teamed up with tough cop Jake Wilder (Chuck Norris of FOREST WARRIOR).  Why are they teamed up?  Because they have the same police record, of course!  Indeed, they have the same amount of arrests, the same amount of hero medals, and they’ve each been shot in the line of duty four times.  After this unlikely pairing, the film escalates into the zaniest white supremacy action thriller ever committed to film.  Basically, an underground group of neo-nazis have plans to blow up some kind of important racial unity gathering in order to celebrate Hitler’s birthday.  This seems kind of extreme for a dog-genre movie, but once Jake and Reno catch wind of their plans, they unite to become a two-fisted, four-pawed death squad!  You can expect to see some warehouse fights, a montage of Reno wearing different clothes and sunglasses, shipments of illegal weapons and C4, a gang of assassin clowns and more!  Directed by Aaron Norris (Chuck’s brother).

    COMMENTARY

    TOP DOG was the last Chuck Norris movie to be released in theaters.  By the time this came out in April 1995, the 2nd season of Walker, Texas Ranger was nearing completion, and Norris couldn’t have been less cool to moviegoers.  This film bears the stamp of the team of people that helped him make the Walker series, most notably his brother Aaron who directed numerous episodes.  Thus, it’s made-for-TV look begins to make sense.  Norris’ next movie, FOREST WARRIOR, went straight to video, as did the rest of his films through 2005 (he also did a few TV movies for CBS).  He announced his retirement from movie making after THE CUTTER in 2005, to spend time with his family and write books.  Later this year Chuck will be back on the big screen for his first wide-release movie since TOP DOG in the second installment of THE EXPENDABLES franchise.  Rumor has it that he refused to be in the movie unless the producers of the film agreed to tone down its vulgar, R-rated language (link to article).  The producers agreed, which is weird because who knew that Chuck still pulled so much weight after all these years?

    Footnote: While trying to find out how many episodes of Walker Aaron Norris directed, I saw a trend in his career that I could correlate directly to Chuck’s.  I discovered that Aaron’s directorial debut was BRADDOCK: MISSING IN ACTION III from 1988.  He went on to direct every Chuck Norris film after that, and with each we saw Chuck’s career slide closer and closer to the dreaded direct-to-video bin.  The lesson: Hollywood nepotism is always a good thing.

    But enough stuffy analysis.  Here’s the action-packed trailer for the superb film TOP DOG!

     

  • Hot!

    B-MOVIE BINGO: NEVER TOO YOUNG TO DIE


    NEVER TOO YOUNG TO DIE (1986)

    Showing Tuesday 12/6/2016 at The Hollywood Theatre

    From the back of the VHS box:

    Action: Bond style. Beauty: Vanity Style. Hero: American style. NEVER TOO YOUNG TO DIE stars teenage idol John Stamos and the sensually exotic Vanity as two of the most dynamic secret agents seen in years. Gene Simmons plays the supervillain who plans to take over the country, and finds his plot blocked by Stamos and Vanity. The two suddenly find themselves the targets of the vicious Simmons, and must take on the maniacal hermaphrodite. The resulting battle of the “sexes” blows the lid off the evil plan, and Stamos joins the ranks of the American Hero.

    Powerful heavy-metal music, state-of-the-art weaponry, and the explosive chemistry between two of the sexiest stars on the screen blend to make this exciting action flick an automatic winner.

    Directed by Gil Bettman.

     

  • Hot!

    B-MOVIE BINGO: GYMKATA


    GYMKATA (1985)

    Showing Tuesday 11/1/2016 at The Hollywood Theatre

    In 1980, the Soviet Union hosted the Olympics, and the United States boycotted the games. This meant that world champion gymnast Kurt Thomas was unable to compete. One thing led to another, and he eventually went on to star in a movie called GYMKATA in 1985. It was his only starring movie role, and his only real attempt at anything movie-related, and we’re finally showing it for B-Movie Bingo.

    Thomas stars as Jonathan Cabot, a fighter who is approached by a CIA-like entity known as the “SIA” (Special Intelligence Agency) to participate in something called “The Game”. The Game takes place in the mysterious and dangerous country of Parmistan, which is sort of near the Himalayas. In this game, he navigates a disorienting obstacle course through the rugged Parmistan backcountry while fighting off vicious Parmistani warriors. His prize for winning The Game is his life–and one wish. The US government wants him to use that single wish to secure permission to install a missile detection system.

    Along the way he falls in love with the daughter of the Parmistani king, trips through a village actually populated by the criminally insane, and draws the ire of a Parmistani warrior played by B-Movie Bingo favorite Richard Norton, who seems to show up in about a third of the movies we show. That’s us staying true to our vow of bringing you movies featuring friends, relatives and employees of famous people (in the 1970s, Norton was a bodyguard for The Rolling Stones, Linda Ronstadt, James Taylor, David Bowie, ABBA, John Belushi, Fleetwood Mac and Stevie Nicks, to name a few).

    From the back of the VHS box:

    Kurt Thomas, athlete extraordinaire and the first American to take the gold in world gymnastic competition, makes his film debut in a martial arts spectacular like none seen before. When the deadly secrets of the East and the fighting skills of the West are united in an Olympic-class gymnast, the result is astounding: the Gymkata warrior!

    The key to national security lies in obtaining a “Star Wars” warning location in the savage country of Parmistan. To win this vital site someone must play The Game, a deadly test of endurance and risk. Jonathan Cabot (Thomas) volunteers to try and accomplish the impossible.

    Under the guidance of a beautiful and mysterious princess, Jonathan turns his incredible array of gymnastic feats into a lethal arsenal. Braving betrayal and terrorists, Jonathan gets his turn at the terrors of The Game. Can he win? Thomas’ charisma and his ability to electrify his audience transfers powerfully to the screen. The talented producer-director team that introduced Bruce Lee to American audiences ensures non-stop action. Together, they promise GYMKATA means excitement!

    Directed by Robert Clouse.