• Hot!

    B-MOVIE BINGO: TRAXX

    TRAXX (1988)
    Showing Tuesday 2/7/17 at The Hollywood Theatre

    There are two things Traxx loves–baking cookies… and killing bad guys.  His dream is to have his own cookie business, but the problem is he’s only good at one of those things (and it’s not the cookies).  This is where the light-hearted cookie-baker-with-a-dream plot turns kind of dark.

    Blonde-maned beefcake Shadoe Stevens is Traxx, an ex-cop, former mercenary who wants to settle down and live the cookie life.  Needing cash to make his cookie dreams a reality, he offers a small, crime-infested town a deal they can’t refuse: hire him to be their “Town Tamer” and he’ll take out their trash… forever (garbage you dump, trash you kill).  His motto is “Be good, be gone, or be dead.”  After teaming up with a rookie and killing about 300 low-lifes, Traxx gets the attention of local crime boss Aldo Palucci (played by Robert Davi, one of the Fratellis who put Chunk’s hand in the blender in The Goonies).  There’s a great scene where he tries one of Traxx’s awful cookies, with explosive results.  He puts out a hit on Traxx, bringing in the Uzi-toting, limo-driving Guzik Brothers, who have been in self-imposed exile in Mexico.  They kidnap the little league baseball team, trying to draw out Traxx, who by this time was living in the woods and wearing a Traxx t-shirt that his partner made for him.  The final showdown ends the only way it could: in an explosion that segues to fireworks and dancing in the streets, under the neon glow of a sign that says “Snaxx by Traxx”.  Directed by Jerome Gary.

    Some Traxx Snaxx

     

  • Hot!

    B-MOVIE BINGO: DOUBLECROSS ON COSTA’S ISLAND


    DOUBLECROSS ON COSTA’S ISLAND (1997)

    Showing Tuesday 1/3/2017 at The Hollywood Theatre

    From the back of the VHS box:

    Six years after stopping a multi-national arms deal that would have wiped out Los Angeles, secret agent Costa (Franco Columbu) is tracked down at his home halfway around the world. From Sardinia to Beverly Hills, Costa must be ready for a final showdown while meeting up with old friends and enemies. Directed by Franco Columbu.

    The brain child of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s best real-life friend, body builder Franco Columbu, DOUBLE CROSS ON COSTA’S ISLAND (1997) is mash-up between a 1995 Columbu film called TAKEN ALIVE and new footage shot in 1996. Here’s the trailer for the very similar-looking film:

     

  • Hot!

    B-MOVIE BINGO: NEVER TOO YOUNG TO DIE


    NEVER TOO YOUNG TO DIE (1986)

    Showing Tuesday 12/6/2016 at The Hollywood Theatre

    From the back of the VHS box:

    Action: Bond style. Beauty: Vanity Style. Hero: American style. NEVER TOO YOUNG TO DIE stars teenage idol John Stamos and the sensually exotic Vanity as two of the most dynamic secret agents seen in years. Gene Simmons plays the supervillain who plans to take over the country, and finds his plot blocked by Stamos and Vanity. The two suddenly find themselves the targets of the vicious Simmons, and must take on the maniacal hermaphrodite. The resulting battle of the “sexes” blows the lid off the evil plan, and Stamos joins the ranks of the American Hero.

    Powerful heavy-metal music, state-of-the-art weaponry, and the explosive chemistry between two of the sexiest stars on the screen blend to make this exciting action flick an automatic winner.

    Directed by Gil Bettman.

     

  • Hot!

    B-MOVIE BINGO: GYMKATA


    GYMKATA (1985)

    Showing Tuesday 11/1/2016 at The Hollywood Theatre

    In 1980, the Soviet Union hosted the Olympics, and the United States boycotted the games. This meant that world champion gymnast Kurt Thomas was unable to compete. One thing led to another, and he eventually went on to star in a movie called GYMKATA in 1985. It was his only starring movie role, and his only real attempt at anything movie-related, and we’re finally showing it for B-Movie Bingo.

    Thomas stars as Jonathan Cabot, a fighter who is approached by a CIA-like entity known as the “SIA” (Special Intelligence Agency) to participate in something called “The Game”. The Game takes place in the mysterious and dangerous country of Parmistan, which is sort of near the Himalayas. In this game, he navigates a disorienting obstacle course through the rugged Parmistan backcountry while fighting off vicious Parmistani warriors. His prize for winning The Game is his life–and one wish. The US government wants him to use that single wish to secure permission to install a missile detection system.

    Along the way he falls in love with the daughter of the Parmistani king, trips through a village actually populated by the criminally insane, and draws the ire of a Parmistani warrior played by B-Movie Bingo favorite Richard Norton, who seems to show up in about a third of the movies we show. That’s us staying true to our vow of bringing you movies featuring friends, relatives and employees of famous people (in the 1970s, Norton was a bodyguard for The Rolling Stones, Linda Ronstadt, James Taylor, David Bowie, ABBA, John Belushi, Fleetwood Mac and Stevie Nicks, to name a few).

    From the back of the VHS box:

    Kurt Thomas, athlete extraordinaire and the first American to take the gold in world gymnastic competition, makes his film debut in a martial arts spectacular like none seen before. When the deadly secrets of the East and the fighting skills of the West are united in an Olympic-class gymnast, the result is astounding: the Gymkata warrior!

    The key to national security lies in obtaining a “Star Wars” warning location in the savage country of Parmistan. To win this vital site someone must play The Game, a deadly test of endurance and risk. Jonathan Cabot (Thomas) volunteers to try and accomplish the impossible.

    Under the guidance of a beautiful and mysterious princess, Jonathan turns his incredible array of gymnastic feats into a lethal arsenal. Braving betrayal and terrorists, Jonathan gets his turn at the terrors of The Game. Can he win? Thomas’ charisma and his ability to electrify his audience transfers powerfully to the screen. The talented producer-director team that introduced Bruce Lee to American audiences ensures non-stop action. Together, they promise GYMKATA means excitement!

    Directed by Robert Clouse.

     

  • Hot!

    B-MOVIE BINGO: RAMBU THE INTRUDER


    RAMBU: THE INTRUDER (1986)

    Showing Tuesday 9/6/2016 at The Hollywood Theatre

    Indonesian Trash Cinema is back!  The cast of THE STABILIZER returns to the big screen in RAMBU: THE INTRUDER.  This movie knows what it is and delivers on every level!  Totally action packed–with bizarre dialogue, long scenes of food being wasted, and an army of tuk-tuks that come at Rambu’s command (tuk-tuks are auto rickshaws). Peter O’Brian, the New Zealand-born English teacher-turned-actor who looks like a Dorito version of Brian May, stars as Rambu, an unemployed police academy drop out.   Rambu mostly lays around and complains about his life while his girlfriend gives him greasy massages.  His main problem, aside from not being able to find work, is he somehow can’t help himself from materializing out of thin air just as gangsters start pushing people around.   He literally just appears out of nowhere, with no context.  He roughs them up and teaches them a lesson with his martial arts–and embarrasses them by bouncing mysterious boomerang balls off of their heads.

    Eventually these seeming “intrusions” come to the attention of the exotically named crime boss John White, played by Craig Gavin.  B-Movie Bingo diehards might remember him as Greg Rainmaker from THE STABILIZER, the man who killed The Stabilizer’s fiance with a spiked shoe.  One thing about Craig Gavin–he knows how to be a “white suit wearing, cocaine guzzling, sexual deviant boss” kind of character.  Angered that his henchmen are being outwitted by this “intruder”, as he refers to him repeatedly, he sets out to destroy Rambu.  Meanwhile, Rambu’s exploits have not gone unnoticed by John White’s rival crime boss, who tricks Rambu into working for him to take out White.  A few days later, at what looks like a city council meeting after-party, Rambu sees the rival crime lords shaking hands like old friends, realizes he’s been had, and smashes all the food laid out by the caterers… with a huge crowbar.  That sets up the rest of the movie, with many scenes of Rambu intruding upon everyone around him.

    For a movie that has a title so similar to RAMBO, it’s worthing noting that it bears little, if any, resemblance to the movies in the RAMBO franchise. There’s an awesome scene in which a babe ties a red bandana around Rambu’s head, and a scene where he’s running around with a massive gun while he’s shirtless wearing black sweats, but that’s about it.  It’s more like an “unemployed lone wolf cop who does what he wants and doesn’t care” kind of movie.  Directed by Jopi Burnama.