• Hot!

    B-MOVIE BINGO: RAMBU: THE INTRUDER


    RambuRAMBU: THE INTRUDER (1986)

    Showing Tuesday 2/5/2013 at The Hollywood Theatre

    Indonesian Trash Cinema is back!  The cast of THE STABILIZER returns to the big screen in RAMBU: THE INTRUDER.  This movie knows what it is and delivers on every level!  Totally action packed–with bizarre dialogue, long scenes of food being wasted, and an army of tuk-tuks that come at Rambu’s command (tuk-tuks are auto rickshaws). Peter O’Brian, the New Zealand-born English teacher-turned-actor who looks like a Dorito version of Brian May, stars as Rambu, an unemployed police academy drop out.   Rambu mostly lays around and complains about his life while his girlfriend gives him greasy massages.  His main problem, aside from not being able to find work, is he somehow can’t help himself from materializing out of thin air just as gangsters start pushing people around.   He literally just appears out of nowhere, with no context.  He roughs them up and teaches them a lesson with his martial arts–and embarrasses them by bouncing mysterious boomerang balls off of their heads.

    Eventually these seeming “intrusions” come to the attention of the exotically named crime boss John White, played by Craig Gavin.  B-Movie Bingo diehards might remember him as Greg Rainmaker from THE STABILIZER, the man who killed The Stabilizer’s fiance with a spiked shoe.  One thing about Craig Gavin–he knows how to be a “white suit wearing, cocaine guzzling, sexual deviant boss” kind of character.  Angered that his henchmen are being outwitted by this “intruder”, as he refers to him repeatedly, he sets out to destroy Rambu.  Meanwhile, Rambu’s exploits have not gone unnoticed by John White’s rival crime boss, who tricks Rambu into working for him to take out White.  A few days later, at what looks like a city council meeting after-party, Rambu sees the rival crime lords shaking hands like old friends, realizes he’s been had, and smashes all the food laid out by the caterers… with a huge crowbar.  That sets up the rest of the movie, with many scenes of Rambu intruding upon everyone around him.

    For a movie that has a title so similar to RAMBO, it’s worthing noting that it bears little, if any, resemblance to the movies in the RAMBO franchise. There’s an awesome scene in which a babe ties a red bandana around Rambu’s head, and a scene where he’s running around with a massive gun while he’s shirtless wearing black sweats, but that’s about it.  It’s more like an “unemployed lone wolf cop who does what he wants and doesn’t care” kind of movie.  Directed by Jopi Burnama.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NBlM6CSZDIc

  • Hot!

    B-MOVIE BINGO: REVENGE OF THE NINJA

    Revenge of the NinjaREVENGE OF THE NINJA (1983)
    Showing Tuesday 1/8/2013 at The Hollywood Theatre

    “Only a ninja can stop a ninja.”  –Cho Osaki

    This is perhaps the greatest film of the early 1980s ninja movie phenomenon, starring Japanese marital arts virtuoso Sho Kosugi (ENTER THE NINJA, THE MASTER).  He stars as Cho Osaki, a ninja who returns home from an afternoon stroll to find his family massacred, and bad guy ninjas hiding in the bushes.  With his mother and infant son he flees to Los Angeles, vowing to forsake the ninja life forever.  With the help of his American friend and business partner Braden (and his assistant Kathy, who is in love with Cho), he opens an art gallery, specializing in fancy Japanese dolls.  What he doesn’t know is Braden is actually an evil ninja who wears a silver demon mask… who’s also smuggling heroin into the country inside of the dolls!

    Six years later we see Cho running a successful gallery and living in peace with his mother and young son, Kane.  When Braden’s drug deal with the mafia falls through, he goes on a dark ninja quest to take out the mafia boss and secure his heroin.  Braden sneaks into Cho’s gallery to steal back his merchandise and has a duel with Cho’s mother, who turns out to be a crazy ninja warrior mom.  She is vanquished.  Kane witnesses this, and soon Braden has hypnotized Kathy into kidnapping Kane… and the culmination of all of this leads to a rooftop battle and Cho’s revenge, aka THE REVENGE OF THE NINJA!

    Things to look for: plenty of gratuitous fight scenes and throwing stars, a Jacuzzi torture scene, Evil Ninja vs. Ninja Warrior Mom, a full-on Native American mob henchman, and an awesome scene where Cho is relentlessly dragged by a van.  Directed by Sam Firstenberg (AMERICAN NINJA, AMERICAN NINJA 2).

     

     

  • Hot!

    B-MOVIE BINGO: XXX

    XXX (2002)
    Showing Tuesday 12/4/2012 at The Hollywood Theatre

    In XXX, Vin Diesel takes us on a one-way trip to the “Xander Zone“, a place as likely to be found on a Corvette falling from a bridge as it is hidden in a secret Czech mountain base.  Diesel plays Xander Cage, an all around extreme sports guy and virtuoso cyber-criminal.  After an NSA agent, played by Samuel L Jackson, catches up with him, he’s given an ultimatum: join us or go to prison.  Yes, he’s that good: if Uncle Sam can’t have ’em, no one can.  Now a reluctant secret agent (an “even-his-shit-is-ripped”, tatted-up version of Bond), he is sent to Prague to stop an evil Cold War-obsessed madman from destroying the world.  While executing well-known world-saving techniques like water skiing on a rocket and snowboarding away from an avalanche he caused, he meets the love of his life, Dario Argento’s daughter, Asia.  XXX uses sports to save the world, and wins her heart in what we all know will wind up the elusive “Tropical Ending”.

    There’s so many awesome scenes in this movie.  Some favorites: 1) Vin Diesel jumping a dirt bike over a barn of exploding cocaine. 2) Xander, while perched high on a mountainside, spies bad guys on snowmobiles and causes an avalanche to take them out, as he rides the wave down on his snowboard (already mentioned, but worth re-telling).  3) All the scenes with Vin Diesel.  Directed by Rob Cohen.

    PRIZES!

    We have some great prizes this month: a hunky Vin Diesel poster, a bunch of glossy promo 8×10’s, and the Grand Prize: a replica Seinfeld script.

  • Hot!

    B-MOVIE BINGO: GLADIATOR COP

    Gladiator Cop (1995)Showing Tuesday 10/2/2012 at The Hollywood Theatre

    GLADIATOR COP is the story of Andrew Garrey (played by RENEGADE’s Lorenzo Lamas), an ex-detective (or cop?) trying to help an attractive woman who works for a history museum solve a recent theft case.  Alexander the Great’s powerful magic sword was stolen by a group of underground fighting-ring gamblers in order to win every fight… and get rich as hell.  The legend is that whoever wields the sword cannot lose a battle.  To make things simple, in a roundabout way, Lorenzo discovers that he is Alexander the Great reincarnated.  We later discover that the evil boss, Parmenion (Played by James Hong from “Seinfeld”), happens to be the reincarnated soul of a man who was killed by Alexander the Great in a sword fight that took place 2000 years ago.  Since Parmenion is a frail businessman that must be avenged for his 2000-year-old murder, he does everything in his power return the stolen sword to it’s rightful owner (Lorenzo) in order to recreate the legendary duel between himself and Alexander the Great once again.  To ensure his victory, Parmenion hires a massive screaming Persian beefcake (wielding the biggest scimitar ever) named Mongol to fight in his place in this final re-match 2000 years in the making. Think of it as MORTAL COMBAT meets HIGHLANDER.

    Expect to see lots of beefcake duels, warehouse fights, rolling heads and more male ponytails than you can count.  Oh and yes, someone does say “Gladiator Cop” during the movie…

    Rated R, 92 Minutes, Directed by Nick Rotundo.

    Check out the trailer:

  • Hot!

    B-MOVIE BINGO: SHOWDOWN IN LITTLE TOKYO

    SHOWDOWN IN LITTLE TOKYO (1991)
    Showing Tuesday 9/4/2012 at The Hollywood Theatre

    In this film Dolph Lundgren plays Sgt. Chris Kenner, a white man born and raised in Japan, steeped in its traditions and culture, and an expert in its martial arts techniques.  Brandon Lee, who plays wise-cracking cop Johnny Murata, is the opposite: he’s a man of Japanese heritage born and raised in sunny Los Angeles, a “valley dude” who loves malls and pizza and knows nothing of his own culture.  In spite of this, he too is an expert fighter, having trained from age four.

    When they meet in a diner shootout in Little Tokyo, Yin meets Yang, and they realize they are destined to be beefcake buddy cops together.  It’s perfect because they both have had issues retaining partners.  They combine powers to take on the untouchable Iron Claw gang, leaders of the Yakuza underworld that is permeating the underbelly of Los Angeles.  A new drug, “Ice“, which is stronger than “Rock”, “Nuke”, “HDS”, “White Buffalo” or any other fake movie drug, is hitting the streets and Iron Claw is suspected of its distribution.  When Kenner and Murata infiltrate an Iron Claw-controlled night club, things get personal when Kenner flashes back to his childhood, and realizes the Yakuza boss he is fighting is actually the man he witnessed murder his parents when he was a child.  Time for some revenge!  On top of this, Kenner falls for the woman singing in the night club (Tia Carrere in a career-defining performance), which of course, leads to things getting even more personal than before.  The gang members dress to the nines in flashy suits and drive big American sedans from the late 50s.  Brandon Lee’s one-liners and wise cracks know no bounds (as we will find out).  COMMANDO director Mark L. Lester took the helm on this one, and it’s a boiled-down 78 minutes of wall to wall action.

    This movie has one of the best endings to a mano-y-mano hero/boss fight we’ve ever scene.   Keep your eyes peeled for Gerald Okamura (SAMURAI COP and NINJA ACADEMY) enjoying a torture scene as “The Master of Pain”.  We’d like to thank Phil Tepper, who tipped us off to this movie.  Keep the suggestions coming!

    Check out the trailer: